Chapter 9: Trayvon — Sex, like, and Like in Prison2

Chapter 9: Trayvon — Sex, like, and Like in Prison2

Exactly What had been the probabilities things could wind up violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself on me in a manner that I became reluctant to just accept but struggling to stop?! They certainly were maybe maybe perhaps not idle concerns. We thought long and difficult about any of it, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t do this. Considering exactly just just what, you ask? Good question — we don’t understand.

Another consideration had been, that which was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have yourself an intercourse partner as well as minimum some usage of my canteen account. I knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I experienced at the least some funds. Perhaps he had been actually interested in me and then he had been a mooch — I represented a chance to fulfill both requirements! Ended up being here any such thing undoubtedly incorrect with that? Only at that very early phase we told myself that for as long as he didn’t get too greedy I happened to be ok to allow him have soup or even a honey bun as he desired one thing. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? All things considered, we endured to obtain one thing from this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass back at my part in the event i obtained harassed or threatened.

Did Trayvon have HIV or various other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to obtain tested occasionally and blah blah that is blah. I did son’t press the problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Alternatively I inquired myself — remember, this person had been assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC designate a guy with HIV to that particular type or types of task? I experienced to think the solution ended up being no, no way. Other inmates later on laughed inside my self- self- confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or solitary dosage. Consequently we judged him become healthier.

Ended up being I truly the only guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either immediately in my own dorm or perhaps in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we worry about that? A jail dorm is mostly about minimal personal spot you can reside in, and so I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other buddies, black colored & white. Achieved it seem like he had been striking on any one of those dudes? Solution — no. As to whether we cared, we must’ve cared or I would personallyn’t have now been spending a great deal attention. But we told myself we cared maybe not away from jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless trying to puzzle out their motives that are real concerned about getting an STD.

We asked myself: me unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom I hoped to reconcile when I got out if I do this does that make? Just exactly What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could achieving this somehow turn me personally homosexual after a very long time to be right — at minimum since it pertains to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I’dn’t had this experience yet. But we thought — no. I became creating an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that could end as soon as we finished. I was thinking, “Trayvon is really an unique situation. What other young black colored dudes may be enthusiastic about a mature white guy? ” To date, i did son’t feel any gayer. I happened to be simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It had been a prison thing.

Before embracing the possibility advantages Trayvon needed to provide as a “friend with benefitsthat I did not think about ahead of time — although in hindsight I really should have” I need to mention one last rather serious problem! Which was, assume we had been discovered? Assume rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? Exactly just just What would we do, if such a thing, to squelch such rumors?